5 Things to remember when you feel like a bad mom

Feeling like a bad mom is the most common depression in new moms. If you are a new parent or parenting your first child, you are more likely to experience parenting guilt or Mom Guilt. Mom guilt, often known as mommy guilt, is the term used to describe the sentiments of guilt women have regarding their children as they ask themselves, am I a bad mom? So they do feel like a bad mom in their parenting. 

They strive to get everything right while worrying about making errors—Mom’s guilt results from having an unattainable vision of the ideal mother. There could be many reasons behind these feelings. You might be overwhelmed by your daily routine by getting stuck in hard times. And at the end of the day, you feel like a bad mom.

As a result, if you feel like you are not paying attention to your child and you are ruining your child, these sorts of feelings would emerge and surround you. I would not say it is not right to feel this way; instead, it is okay to feel this way. However, it is untrue to think of a bad mom. 

Here are five things to remember whenever you feel like a bad mom:

It is okay to have a bad day when you feel like a bad mom.

First, you should understand that having a bad day like this is okay because you will not tick all the boxes every day. You would face bad days often because everybody has bad days. And occasionally, we have awful weeks. Months might vary in severity. Everybody experiences it! You would also feel like a bad mom, but that’s not true either. 

The fact is that having terrible days doesn’t make you a bad mother. Because it demonstrates that you genuinely care, the fact that you worry that you’re a horrible mother makes you a wonderful one. The guilt feeling might be bad for you, but it is also a sign that you care about your child and reflect on how you are parenting them. So having bad days does not mean you are a lousy mom; instead, it shows how much you care about your child. 

We often fail at the things in which we are not experts. 

If you are not a salesperson or someone who can convince people quickly, then definitely you would fail in tasks related to sales and convincing people. So you are not an expert or don’t know everything related to parenting. That’s the first truth you should accept while feeling guilt which means you are not doing anything intentionally, so you are not wrong. 

Most of the mommy guilt is only get experienced during the first child. Which means you are doing this thing only now. You are not a parenting expert; you are just like a child who has just started playing soccer, so he will not be a good player in his first year. It would take time and patience to be a good mom, so keep focusing on improving your parenting. 

No mom is perfect.

The most dangerous thing while experiencing this sort of depression is you would start comparing yourself to other moms. Comparing yourself is the most common starting point of depression and affects your self-esteem. So here is the simple sentence you should remember whenever you feel like a bad mom: no mom is perfect.

While comparing yourself to others, you would only see their public side, but you can’t imagine how many struggles or painful experiences they have gone through in their journey, and they may have some flaws to this day, so they are also not perfect. These moms were just like you during their first experiences, so why would you have to compare yourself to others? Just start focusing on your side and embrace your mistakes and keep improving. 

It is okay to have your own time.

The issue is that the significant reason you are feeling this way is that you are now feeling cut off from your former social life. During parenting, many people want you to give up on your own life and solely focus on your child.

Also, you now have the responsibility of a child. You would start to feel locked in a cage. It would even affect your relationship with the child so take a little break to hire a babysitter for a short time every week and start to enjoy your own time. It could be socializing with your friends or doing some hobby-related stuff. It all depends on you. 

It would give you a feeling of being alive and benign and more energy for yourself and even more love for your child. 

Start improving from today to not feel like a bad mom anymore.

The most important thing when you feel like a bad mom is to start improving, and You would be locked in your mommy guilt unless you start reflecting on yourself. Accept your flaws and start your improvement journey. Start using productivity techniques to save time and give more time to learning parenting-related stuff. 

Enjoy your journey because if you keep going with a heavy heart, it will get worse for you and your child, so keep reflecting on yourself and keep improving. You would enjoy mommy’s life. 

Last thoughts 

You are not alone. I feel like a bad mom and not even alone in this journey. You may feel down on your journey, but it is essential to know that you are not the only mom feeling this way. Many moms have gone through the same trip but have improved themselves and done their best in parenting their children.